I robbed a bank and now I'm on the lam

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Yes, I am a fugitive.

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I robbed a bank.

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Or rather, I stole from my credit union.

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In my speedy get-away minivan, I floored it, speeding past the bewildered teller who was still in shock that I would have the guts to steal...

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...this.

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Is there anything more embarrassing than having to return to your credit union the next day and admit you forgot to put the container back in the tube before leaving, not realizing you still have it in the car until you're pulling into the garage at home and see it sitting on the passenger seat?

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Fortunately for me, the coppers never found me and I was able to repent of my sinful ways before my soul was completely lost and hopeless.