planning ahead...

The other day Carson, knowing how attached I am to my children, felt he should give me a head's up on his plans to flee the nest. Probably thought if he started telling me now, then when it was time for him to don his ninja mask and start throwing his ninja stars, I'd be prepared and handle it better - that is, IF I've lived long enough to see that day, considering I'll be a ripe old age and all...

Carson: "Mom, when I grow up, I'm going to have to move to China."

Me: "Oh? Why?"

Carson: "Because that's where ninjas live and I'm going to be a ninja."

Me: "You are? What do ninjas do?"

Carson (as though I should know this): "Oh, they work with the police to catch bad guys and stuff."

Later that night, in front of Carson, I relayed the bad news of our son's cross-continental moving plans to my husband.

Brett feigned tears and said: "That's so sad - we will miss you being so far away and all."

Carson looked confused and stated matter-of-factly: "Why? You'll be dead by the time I grow up."

Me: "And just how old do you think we're going to be when you are a grown-up?"

Carson: "Oh, like 28."

$2? do I hear $2? whoa, baby!

Tonight Carson told me he wanted me to go to the store and buy a baby.
I asked him where?

He said matter-of-factly, "The baby store."

"I don't know if I can afford it - babies are expensive, you know."

"No they're not, Mom."

"Oh? Well how much do money do you think I'll need to buy one?"

"Hmmm...", he says tapping his head with his finger, "maybe two dollars?"

more Carsonisms

Carson: "Mom, when am I going to grow up? It's taking forever!"

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Carson: "Me and Wyatt are going to be on T.V. when we grow up."
Me: "Really? How?"
Carson: "Wyatt's going to be a football guy coach and you know that race car show Daddy watches [Nascar]? Well, I'm going to drive the race car on there."

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Carson: "Mom, you're pretty."
Me: "Thank you, Carson."
Carson: "I mean, your kind of pretty and your also kind of ugly, but you're more pretty than ugly."
Me: [SIGH.] "Thanks, Bud."

Eleven Diapers Piping...

"Why would any kid ask for 11 Diapers Piping for Christmas?"

(says Carson after listening to "The Twelve Days of Chistmas" on the radio today)

the lesser-known dietary habits of tigers (according to Carson).

Today as Cowboy Carson and Mommy were playing,

we spotted a rare & very dangerous
toy tiger in the hallway.
"Cowboy Carson," I whispered cautiously,
"you have to save me! Go kill the tiger before it eats me!"
Tipping his black felt hat, Cowboy Carson snickered
at my naivete and put my fears at ease in his reply:
"No, Mommy, tigers don't eat you.
Tigers eat BE-YU-BERRIES."
Who knew?