- seems to have no remorse?
- would rather ask forgiveness than permission?
- would rather do the time if it means he can do the crime?
------------------Today was a classic example of said child's literally "shameLESS" personality:
He played with play-dough happily for an hour.
When he was done he sat amongst bits of green play-dough scattered all over the kitchen counter along with the toy tools for the clay. He told me he was hungry and asked if he coudl have a banana.
"Sure," I said cheerfully (really, I said it cheerfully). "I'm happy to get you a banana as soon as you clean up the play-dough."
Weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth ensued. Apparently, I was being terribly unfair.
"I think you're just making me do it because you don't want to do it," my astute and sharp-as-a-tack son observed. (Wow, nothing gets by him.)
"You're absolutely right. Why should I clean up your mess? It will only take you a minute to do it and then you can sit and enjoy your banana."
I went upstairs to put the laundry in the dryer and when I came back down he was sitting on the couch playing with a different toy.
I stopped in my tracks and took a deep breath. "This is so sad, but I want you to know you will not be getting a banana until you clean up that play-dough."
Without even looking up at me, he continued to play with the toy and declares, "I decided I'm not cleaning it up. I decided you can do it."
Breathe, I told myself. Then I began counting inside my brain in attempt to not ring my child's neck. One, Two, Three, Four... "Wow, then this is really sad because if I have to clean it up you won't get to play with play-dough anymore."
He shrugged his shoulders and said with resignation, "That's okay. In a few days I'll get to play with it again and that's okay."
I started to clean it up and tell him, "I'm sorry you feel that way. It makes me sad that you're not willing to clean up your messes and that you are okay with making mommy do it. That's so sad that you would treat me that way. And it won't be just a few days. It will be for a few weeks that you won't get to play with the play-dough."
"Oh, well, that's okay too because guess what, Mom? I already ate my banana. I ate it while you were upstairs." Smug little son-of-a...
Opening the garbage I see that sure enough there is a freshly discarded banana peel in the top of the heap.
So now he's grounded from having any snacks between meals for the rest of today and tomorrow, but I am so sick of this attitude! This kid feels no regret for bad choices and certainly feels no sorrow or sincerity in his penitence.
He honestly just
how his choices make other people feel.
I know he's only 4 1/2 but that's old enough to have compassion, feel some degree of responsibility, and have a desire to not make wrong choices.
WHAT DO I DO?????